Presenting the Gospel to Children V

We’re diverging from our series on the influence of the Puritans on the Great Awakening (US) and the Evangelical Revival (UK) and focusing on God’s work of regeneration in children.

In this final episode, we’re focusing on how to respond when our older children have rejected the gospel. In order to do so, we’ll be looking at Edward Lawrence’s sermon, Directions for Grieving Over Ungodly Children. You can read the full sermon here.

Edward Lawrence (1623-1695) was a faithful English Puritan pastor. After the Act of Uniformity, he was ejected from his church in Shropshire. He was a friend of Philip Henry, who was Matthew Henry’s father.

We often see “good” children grow up and go away to college and abandon any outward show of loving Christ. Now that they are on their own, they are free to choose to live for themselves. It is heartbreaking as a parent to witness this open rebellion. It is easy for us to doubt and despair if we’re not careful how we handle this sorrow.

It may be tempting to believe one of two lies. We could either believe that it is all our fault that our children turned away from God. Or we may believe that it is not our fault at all, but God’s fault. We blame God.

Bring these thoughts that trouble you to the Lord Himself and do not allow these lies to take root in your heart. Where there needs to be repentance, repent. Where you need forgiveness, ask for it.

Edward Lawrence gives seven practical directions for grieving over ungodly children.

1. Abhor it as a great sin to faint under this affliction.

2. Consider that this is an affliction that ordinarily befalls God’s dearest children. 

“You must not think of this as if you were the first godly parents of ungodly children, or as if herein some strange thing happened unto you.” God will use even what’s bad—the sorrow over an ungodly child—for good in your life.

3. Consider that there might have befallen you greater miseries than this.

You may not have been saved yourself. You may have an ungodly spouse. Or God may have not saved any of your children.

 4. Let your sorrow be guided by Scripture and reason, so that you may not provoke God, defile your souls, and wound your consciences by sinful groans and tears.

Sorrow is appropriate. But how you grieve matters. Grieve more about how your child has grieved God, rather than how they have grieved you. Don’t let this sorrow impair your physical health. Don’t neglect your spouse or children because of your grief.

5. Labor to get your graces strengthened under this great affliction; for you have need of more knowledge, wisdom, faith, hope, love, meekness, and patience to enable and fit you to bear this than most other affections.

Rather than letting this grief drive further away from God, let it drive you toward God. You need to receive the strength to bear this from Him. “Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.” He is sufficient.

6. Comfort yourself in that the greatest and best things that you have most prayed for, trusted unto, expected, and chiefly loved and desired are all safe and sure.

Although your children have chosen not to follow the Lord, God will be faithful to you. Do not let this sorrow to accuse God and doubt that He will be faithful.

7. Last, consider this trouble will last but a little while.

“I confess I do not know or can upon search find anything that can lift up the heart above this trouble but the knowledge and sense of the infinite love of God in Christ to a man’s self and of that holy and glorious eternity which this love will shortly bring him unto.”Walk humbly with the Lord and your Christian brothers and sisters.

“O injured, neglected, provoked Benefactor!
When I think but for a moment of all Your greatness and of all Your goodness, I am astonished at this indifference which has prevailed in my heart, and even still prevails;
And yet this stupid heart of mine would make its having neglected You so long a reason for going on to neglect You.
I beseech You, for Your name's sake, to lead me and guide me.
Let me not delay until it is for ever too late.
O break this fatal enchantment that keeps my affections from You. Amen.”

This prayer by Philip Doddridge is taken from A Guide to Family Worship.

 

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Behold Your God PodcastCourtney Brewer