Common Pitfalls in Family Worship
By Ryan Bush
Family worship is a divinely instituted act in which a father, or mother if the father is absent or isn’t a believer, leads their little flock to worship the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in spirit and in truth. The order of service isn’t so very different from the regular gatherings of local assemblies. They read the Scriptures, pray, and sing. But the practice of family worship is often less reverent, tranquil, and tidy as a parent would hope for. Just because it can be difficult, however, does not mean that it isn’t good and right. Further, just because expectations aren’t always met doesn’t mean the practice should be abandoned.
The key to family worship is to stick with it, to keep plodding. Don’t give up, brother and sisters. Don’t throw in the towel. The struggles you are facing in family worship are the same ones I and countless other families before you faced. Some gave up, some didn’t. I encourage you to determine to be among those who are faithful. If you are just starting, I want to warn you about a common pitfall that can potentially derail this good work when barely getting out of the gate.
One principal cause of discouragement for parents who are beginning to practice daily family worship is unmet expectations, especially when young children are involved. Please remember that your children must learn to participate in family worship. That takes time, patience, mercy, and love. It is paramount that you keep in mind that your goal isn’t a pristine family worship service that looks good to outsiders, but the well-being of the souls of your little flock. Don’t let your feelings or pride get in the way of this great calling.
Start slow. Conduct family worship in accordance with what your family is able to reasonably process and benefit from. If you are using A Guide to Family Worship, I would suggest only using 50% of the material for the first several weeks. Then, moving up to 75% for a few weeks. Finally, once your family is ready, you can use the entire outline each day.
For example, let’s say a father just received his family worship guide in the mail and it is April 24th, then he would see that he should first choose a chapter to read. He has 4 children ages 3 to 10, so he chooses Psalm 23 because it is short and familiar. His older children and wife help him read it out loud.
Next, he sees that the memory verse is Hebrews 7:25. So he reads it once out loud and his wife reads it once out loud. Then, he asks a simple question like, “Who is this talking about? Who is able to save us to the uttermost?” He doesn’t elaborate, he simply moves on once Jesus is identified as the Savior.
Then, he moves to the catechism questions and answers. His children are already getting a bit restless, so he decides to only go through the first two questions:
What is the first petition? Hallowed by your name.
What do we pray for in the first petition? That God’s name may be honored by us and all men.
Again, he includes his children that read by allowing them to answer the questions. The key is to keep it short as a way to train them to build up their attention spans.
When he comes to the confession, he decides to read the whole section only because it is relatively short: “All believers are obligated to join themselves to local churches when and where they have the opportunity. Likewise, all who are admitted to the privileges of a church are also subject to the discipline and government of it, according to the rule of Christ. (26:12)”
After reading it he asks his children, “What church have we joined ourselves to? What is the name of our church?” Again, he doesn’t elaborate, he simply moves on after the correct answer is given.
He sees that the prayer is divided into three sections so he asks his wife to read the first section, his oldest child to read the second section, and he reads the last section.
When it comes time to sing together, the father sees it is the hymn, Holy, Holy, Holy. He knows his children have heard this hymn many times and are very familiar with the first stanza. So, he leads the family to sing the first stanza a cappella. He then closes with a simple prayer.
Remember, the key is to not give up. Stick with it. I assure you that regular family worship is doable. And, over a period of weeks, it will become the sweetest part of your day. Over the years, it will be what the Lord uses to awaken, call, and transform the little sheep in your flock. That is what has happened with my family. You can read more of my story and the development of the Family Worship Guide here.
If I can be of help to you in any way, please don’t hesitate to contact me through Media Gratiae. Email any comments or questions to info@mediagratiae.org and they will be delivered directly to me.
Ryan Bush, PhD is married to Amanda and together they are raising 5 children. Ryan serves as president of International Church Planters | Didache Institutes, an organization that focuses on training pastors and leaders across the globe on-site and online for the glory of God and the good of the church.